Zoidberg is fucking terrifying!
modern day shakespeare adaptions that should exist
- southern gothic macbeth. the bloody, brutal themes of the play in the suffocating atmosphere of the genre. the imagery of lady macbeth’s hands dripping with blood! the witches! macbeth’s madness when he believes the swamp has actually come to life to kill him! it’s like it was made for this play
- political othello. make him secretary of defense or state. imagine a house of cards like environment. addresses issues of current racism and misogyny in politics, and Iago’s jealous/obsessive love for Othello with very clear homo-erotic undertones. like extremely explicit and how that translates in such a masculine setting to understand Iago’s intent.
- police hamlet. hamlet senior as the deputy in nyc. his mysterious death draws his son home from stanford/harvard/what-have-you. a modern day noir-like detective mystery. emphasis on ophelia’s depression and subsequent decent into madness by popping too many pills. the way the “respectful” upper-class tear themselves apart splashed all across the media.
- the tempest as lost.
- titus andronicus as a proper horror movie, set in the current war in the middle east.
- college midsummer nights dream. the fairyland is a popular night club. lots of dubstep music and drugs slipped in dark corners of the dance floor.
The last one is pretty much The Donkey Show.
Fight Fighters ✂ twofoxes
"WINNERS DON’T LOSE!"
"I wouldn’t be too sure about that, man."
-HLIIB, WRKKVI, YFG BLFI DVMWB RH RM ZMLGSVI XZHGOV.
When you slowly start hating someone you were friends with.
I registered to donate my kidney today. I know you said not to that you’d rather die than be a burden. But you know I never do what I’m told.
- Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance (2002)
Showgirls (1995) dir. Paul Verhoeven
- Guy on train: I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos.
- Me: *turns up music*
- Guy: I said I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos!
- Me: *takes off headphones* Leave. Me. Alone.
- Guy: Why the fuck do you have so many tattoos?
- Guy: Are you fucking deaf as well as a piece of trash?
- Lady by door: Hey. Leave her alone.
- Guy: Are you her trash girlfriend? Fucking dykes, all tattooed like fucking men. Disgusting waste of pussy.
- Lady: *moves forward, carefully moves jacket so only I can see the badge on her belt* Are you okay?
- Me: Fine. Just wish he'd go away.
- Lady cop: I can make that happen.
- Guy: Oh, yeah, bitch? Who the fuck are you? I'll kill you!
- Lady cop: And that's what I was waiting for. *grabs guy, holds him against the door* Harassing women on the train was enough, but you just threatened a cop. You're battin' a thousand tonight.
- Entire train: *applauds*
stay on the local news - they only cover rapes and murders!
the catholic church gives wine to 7 year olds but gay marriage is wrongI mean this is totally out of context but is technically true. It is believed to be the blood of god and they are only given 1 tiny sip once a week but otherwise this is totally correct.
the catholic church encourages 7 year olds to drink blood every week but gay marriage is wrong